Narcissism is a term thrown around frequently to describe people who are abnormally self-centred. This is a good start, but there’s more to see. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association (June 2011 ed.), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has a variety of symptoms. People with NPD are often grandiose and attention seeking, they have an impaired sense of empathy, and are ultimately out of touch with their deepest self, lacking in direction (35).
Chuck DeGroat explores the intersection of narcissism and ministry life in When Narcissism Comes to Church. DeGroat is well qualified to write this book as a professor of pastoral care, licensed therapist, and spiritual director. At the core of all narcissists, claims DeGroat, is a deep sense of shame (41).
The clear strength of this book is DeGroat’s experience. His vivid descriptions of narcissism in its various forms will bring faces to mind (reader beware)! He does an excellent job looking beyond the stereotypes to show the manifold ways narcissism penetrates and impacts church life.
My only hesitation with DeGroat is his reliance on the Enneagram to describe the “nine faces of narcissism” (45–66). Now to be clear, I’m not one of those people who believes the Enneagram is of the devil! However, I’m also not convinced that the tool has been sufficiently empirically verified. That said, it certainly does provide a diverse phenomenological perspective on the human persona, a matrix to explore the various faces of narcissism.
Some therapists have argued that NPD simply cannot be cured. DeGroat agrees that it’s a stubborn disorder that resists change. However, grace. God’s in the process of restoring his creation, leading the way with his image-bearers. If nothing less, When Narcissism Comes to Church is a valuable resource for the victims of narcissists to recognize their enslavement to destructive personalities—especially when mixed with spiritual language and posturing.
DeGroat, Chuck. When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community from Emotional and Spiritual Abuse. InterVarsity Press, 2020.