The pursuit of spirituality is a tricky thing in our success-driven society. Is it possible, or should we even try to measure spiritual growth? While there are as many paths to spiritual growth as there are seekers, Henri J. M. Nouwen charts out three main movements that almost everyone experiences on the in the pursuit of God.

The first movement is from loneliness to solitude. Loneliness is a growing problem in the western world, despite our unprecedented technological connectedness. In loneliness, people cling to the other and expect the other to fulfill their existential needs.

Without the solitude of heart, our relationships with others easily become needy and greedy, sticky and clinging, dependent and sentimental, exploitative and parasitic, because without the solitude of heart we cannot experience the others as different from ourselves but only as people who can be used for the fulfillment of our own, often hidden needs. (44)

Second is the movement from hostility to hospitality. With a heart comfortable with solitude, we are able to create space for the other within ourselves. We can allow the stranger into our life “on his or her terms, not on ours” (98).

The final movement of the spiritual life is from illusion to prayer. We reject the “all-pervasive illusion of immortality” (116) and embrace our contingency. In prayer we reach out, both individually and in community, to the one in whom all things exist.

In order to convert our crying loneliness into a silent solitude and to create a fearless place where strangers can feel at home, we need the willingness and courage to reach out far beyond the limitations of our fragile and finite existence toward our loving God in whom all life is anchored. (113)

There are few writers like Nouwen. His short accessible books mask a depth of wisdom and spirituality that inspire the reader to deeper meditation. Reaching Out is simply one of his finest works.

Nouwen, Henri J. Reaching Out: Three Movements of the Spiritual Life. New York: Doubleday, 1975.